Oh, Boy Child!
Ghosted, Blocked, but Definitely Not Forgotten!
This story is just one juicy part of a bigger picture. Read the intro here to get all the tea!
Don’t go confirming this, but in my first year on campus, I found “the love of my life”, Or, so I thought. Those clever French bastards got a glamorous, sweet-sounding word: ‘L’amour de ma vie’. I feel better already pronouncing that in my head.
Her name was Waridi. Yes, rose flower. But like the flower withers, we all know how this story ends. Everybody knows this. You know this. Those wenye wako soko know this. The government knows this as well. If you think I am lying, ask Gachagua(he’s an honest man)
She was beautiful at least according to the standard unit of Kenyan men: She had nyash, boobs, and the icing on the cake: she was light skin. How I wish someone angeni warn that beneath that beauty existed pure evil that would make me regret meeting her.
Let me take you back about five years ago, to the day in question. Buckle up. The day began just like any other uneventful day. With a statistics class that I could hardly understand, that seemed to take forever.
As we exited the large lecture theatre, we became aware of the shouting and chanting of some of our fellow comrades. They’d decided to express their displeasure about the lack of water in the ablution block of the hostels.
“Comrades Power!” the ring leader, a lanky dark-skinned Luo boy shouted. I found the whole spectacle quite entertaining so I decided to stay and watch. I remember laughing my heart out as one of the protesters comically shouted;
“Hatuwezi brush meno na Sprite!”
I was having a blast. Till I saw her and it was really like a scene from a corny Hollywood production. Si you know eyes don’t have curtains. For a moment, it was like time stood still. I watched as her braids lightly swayed from the gentle wind and her angelic eyes seemed to entrance me.
She had on a pair of mom jeans, a purple blouse and a pair of white sneakers. Needless to say, she was quite a beauty. It was like everything about her physical appearance just seemed to draw me in. Even then, I knew I was in trouble. She, like me, had decided to stay and watch the unruly group protest for a cause they thought was just.
I didn’t waste any time. I had to shoot my shot. After all, isn’t rejection better than regret? I mustered enough courage and walked her in the hopes of striking up an engaging conversation. I covered the distance between us in three long strides.
“Hi there, enjoying the show?” I asked.
“Not really, just waiting for a friend.” She said with a slight smile.
“Mind if I wait with you?”
She eyed me for a short while before agreeing. And that my friends, was how my short stint with dating began. We hit it off instantly. We had similar tastes in almost everything; music, food, art, and film. We could carry on on almost any topic.
Also, I somehow always knew how to make her laugh(a fact I took much pride in). It also didn’t hurt that I found her very attractive, and as I later learnt, she found me soft on the eyes too. Waridi and I soon began spending most of our free time together, much to the chagrin of my ‘boys’.
Not that I cared, I was a man in love. Within a month of meeting her, I was convinced that I’d found my better half. It sounds laughable now, but I did think she was the one. It felt like a little slice of heaven whenever we were together.
We would cuddle, listen to music, and watch corny movies, then go on long evening walks together. She was also my first kiss (I’m a late bloomer people). For about a month, it was all bliss. The ‘Honeymoon phase’ so to speak.
Then things started going sideways. I can’t point to the particular moment it happened, but all of a sudden, she was always finding excuses to avoid meeting up. I also began to notice several inconsistencies in the stories she’d give me.
To add insult to injury, Okeyo, an old friend of mine, always seemed to be hovering around her like a vulture encircling its prey. I didn’t think much of it at first. Just a coincidence, I’d tell myself.
The moment of reckoning came one afternoon when we were supposed to meet up for a date, at a restaurant not far from school, but she kept me waiting for about two hours. I was thoroughly enraged as I kept calling to ask how far she was, but all I got was “the mobile subscriber cannot be reached”
I finally came to the realization that she was not coming and decided to leave the restaurant. At the corner of my eye, I could see the waiters’ staring daggers at me but I figured they’d be okay. I had drunk a soda at least. I’d been stood up! After I had saved up for about a month to take her on a proper date, she gets the bright idea to stand me up. Sio fity by the way.
My mind was a whirlwind of emotion and my heart seemed to be working twice as hard. Out of the blue, I decided to pay my ‘friend’ Okeyo a visit. Just telling him how Waridi made me have a terrible date at the restaurant, waiting for her. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to witness.
As I got to his hostel room, I had his Ampex Woofer playing “ndovu ni kuu ah ah ah”. I knocked, no response. But just as I was about to leave, the Bluetooth dewise disconnected and I heard noises and a voice that sounded a little too familiar. There was no mistaking who that was.
I had made her make those same sounds before. It was Waridi. I kicked the door right out of its hinges in a fit of rage. And there they were. The shameless brats! The two were going at it like bunnies. Like I hadn’t sat waiting for her for over two hours. I began shaking with fury.
“What’s going on here?” I asked as my fists balled at my sides. His boxer, her panties and their clothes were all scattered on the floor.
They began covering themselves up with the bed sheets, as if that would somehow erase the graphic image of what I’d found them doing.
“Lester, come down. Please don’t cause a scene.” She said.
The nerve of that woman!
Ladies and gentlemen, I did in fact cause a scene. I let my rage take over. The high road was not an option for me. Not after my ego had taken such a massive hit. I broke stuff, hurled unprintable insults at them and hit Okeyo smack on the face with my fist. Not my proudest moment.
A small group of onlookers had begun forming outside the room, but still, I did not care. I gave them a piece of my mind. They didn’t seem remorseful in the least. I finally left after I was tired of making a fool of myself.
It was the most difficult walk that I ever had to take. Walking out of the hostel as an ex. My ego was dismantled. My girl had been devoured by my best friend. Enyewe ndovu ni kuu. It was hard coming to terms that that pussy wasn’t mine, it was just my turn.
The moment I realised “kumbe Sahani yangu ni sinia…” I did the most honourable thing of blocking and ghosting her in my life. But can you forget such an experience? Sometimes the scene replays in my head and I just wish I was dreaming. If you have experienced this you know how it feels “ukigongewa”, but if you haven’t, just know life is full of second chances: utajua hujui.
That, my friends, is how my trust issues and cynicism began. I’ve been in a few other flings since then but nothing really serious. And I never really give my full commitment to the other person, lest I suffer the same fate once again. Once bitten twice shy, right?
I still hold on to the hope that one day I’ll find my better half and she will erase the emotional damage Waridi put me through. After all, Love is a beautiful thing. At least according to Hollywood.
But for now: Habari mbaya zimenifikia, mandugu zangu wananikulia
Kumbe sahani yangu ni sinia, Na inaniuma sana …
About the AuthorRyan is a lover of fiction, art, film, and all the subtle yet beautiful intricacies of the human experience. When he's not writing or diving into a good book and/or film, you’ll likely find him swimming, allowing his thoughts to flow freely as the water surrounds him. Engage with him on X at Ryan's Awesome and on IG at reynoxrox
Next: The One That Flew Away—one minute here, next minute… poof!
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Ulisomea Jkuat sindio???😂😂😂😂😂This could only have happened in Jkuat😂😂😂😂 pole manzeee😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"I had made her make those same noise before" 😂😂😂