WHAT NOW? WHAT NEXT? (Part 1)
From the Campus Bubble to the Real World Shuffle
Come with me to the heart of JKUAT's legendary Hall of Fame, the one and only Hall six. You open the door and you see a gent calmly sitted. Pen in hand, notebook sprawled wide open – but he's not writing. Instead, his gaze is fixated on the stained walls, that has some patches of peeling paint revealing the hall's age. An hour passes, and he remains in this contemplative state. You could easily conclude that ako mavitu ( he's under the influence of something). Don't laugh. That's 23-year-old me. I am thinking hard. I am trying to figure out something. It's a chilly, lonely night, intensified by the relentless downpour outside.No music to listen to, and nobody to talk to. The only audible sound in this condominium is the soft hum of the fluorescent light above. My white coffee mug sits in silent companionship, providing warmth as I wrestle with my thoughts that seem to echo in the empty room. The clock ticks past my usual bedtime of 10 pm, and I find myself engulfed in a cascade of reflections. Why am I overthinking? Why am I finding it difficult to get a night's sleep? Well, time is fleeting and in the next few weeks, I will be done with this campus life, and I will be officially crowned a Raia.
It's fascinating to find resonance with the timeless echoes of Paul's words: I have fought the good fight, I've finished the race, I've kept the faith. The only thing that's not certain is the crown of righteousness that's laid up for me and this is what has been giving me countless nightmares for the better part of my final stretch on campus.
The impending end of my half-decade campus journey triggers a bipolar whirlwind of emotions. This imminent conclusion of my campus journey proves liberating and anxiety-inducing. For a moment I am jubilant. Very proud of myself for the strides that I have made since joining Campus. From freshas naiveté to this level of growth and sophistication. Sticking around for half a decade, especially for the demanding nature of my course ain't no joke. This deserves a serious celebration. A few bottles of Fanta Passion will do justice. Ama Nama gani?. I feel a sigh of relief from the shackles of all the pressures related to academics. The constant hustle and bustle of meeting the deadlines in submitting assignments. Never-ending laborious lab reports, CATs, Exams, and kuinama. But at the very core, the daunting question "What's next after campus?" lingers. My friend, that question haunts me every single day… I am nervous, confused, and extremely scared of my next step.
Some random debilitating phrases such as "is not what you know but whom you know", and "connections Muhimu" are crisscrossing my mind at a faster rate than I can process them. A moment of despair clouds my thoughts until a spark of recognition hits me – wasn't this the same institution where the current Second in command gave zero hope to graduands during the 40th graduation ceremony?
Uweeh!, in the words of our very own Stivo simple boy "nikumoto manzee." Student loans and other stories are looming large, becoming more overwhelming and suffocating. To prevent succumbing to this poison, I decided to reach out to classmates and friends, probing if they, too, are grappling with this disorder. Surprisingly, the consensus is mutual. Engaging in deep conversations with peers reveals a shared anxiety about the post-campus phase. Internship applications dominate discussions. Nostalgia grips us as our time of departure nears. The modern-day poet and philosopher, Eminem, aptly puts things into perspective, capturing the turbulent emotions tied to the imminent end of this chapter when he says:
Got a a premonition
I feel the end is near
The beauty starts to fade the joy has turned to pain
I hear the symphony playin'
Ten thousand violins
Souls floating away like feathers in the wind
Premonition, From the Album Music To Be Murderd By
After numerous discussions with friends, I delved deeper into why this impending change feels like a bitter pill to swallow and scary simultaneously. Reflecting on my younger self, I recall being excited about change—whether it was the shift from pencil to biro pens in primary school or the anticipation of moving up a class. Change used to be fun and exciting. So, why does it now evoke fear?
From kindergarten up until campus we were given a clear sense of direction with ourselves and had attainable goals set for us. The plan was simple; go to school study, get good grades, and then Progress to the next level. It was a repetitive yet comforting cycle.
And we gladly did that over and over again up until now when all of a sudden the road map disappears and there's no real clear sense of direction but society has got immense expectations from you. We are not sure of what awaits us after campus. You see, campus is an amazing place but is a very shielded environment. We are afraid that when we step outside the walls of JKUAT we will discover that the world is a very turbulent, uncertain, and complex maze. We are stepping into a world that's inherently shuckled in debts and the government is ironically trying to raise its GDP by overburdening its citizens with taxes and the rising cost of living adds to the challenges we face.
That's the world that we are stepping into. Life demands we move forward despite the uncertainties. We have to face it regardless. Change is scary. While we know that life is in constant motion and that change is sometimes for the better, we still find it difficult to accept change because we fear navigating a path riddled with uncertainties. We'd rather be sure that a bad thing is going to happen than to have to deal with uncertainty. Change is also scary because it involves a loss of some kind. We are departing from an old way of being and entering a new one. Overcoming a fear of change can be as difficult as overcoming a fear of failure. For me, change feels like Integrating "X" for Twitter into my everyday conversations. Difficult, I tell you. What I know for sure is that if we are to progress, we must accept change. The very essence of physical reality is change. Nothing is constant. Everything is changing.
As I stand at the threshold of change, the door to the next chapter creaks open. In Part 2, the camera pans to the unexplored landscapes beyond. Will it be a comedy of errors or an epic drama? Join me in the sequel as we unravel the mysteries that await, for in the enigma of the unknown lies the beauty of the narrative.
Check back here on Monday for the grand finale
In the meantime, keep calm with the song below:
As always,
Live and let live.
Adiós
I must confess, great read !... Life will always be kind to those who hope for the best and work towards it...😊
Live a day at a time.✌️